The other day I was brought to tears. Tears of pain and frustration. Tears that I couldn't push back because to be completely honest, I didn't want to.
This seems to happen every now and again. I get an overwhelming wave of sadness...not even sadness...straight up pity for myself.
I would like to blame it on someone or something. I would like to say that I have a chemical imbalance or that my "friend" is visiting.
However, the reality is I am just having a good, old fashion, immature pity party. That's right...I will admit it...sometimes I am a big baby.
During one of my "my life sucks" moments, I had a divine inspiration. The Lord, in His amazing way, reminded me of some incredible things.
He reminded me that I have a family, though a little crazy, are healthy and love me. They may not pack my bags for all my insane adventures but they will at least do the airport runs.
He showed me the faces of all the teens that have passed through my life...the awe-inspiring times of worship I have had with them, the stories and memories that were made, the blessing of seeing each one of them minister in the unique way the Lord designed just for them.
He brought a smile to my face thinking of alllll of my friends that are LITERALLY all over the world. From playing in the snow with my Canadians, Santa Land with the roomies in Texas, crazy dancing with my loves in Uganda, and so on and so on.
He comforted me in that all of my needs have been met...and even some of my wants. I need a job, and even though it may not be the most amazing thing ever- I have a job that I do enjoy and work with people that I genuinely care about. I have been able to get a "new" car and move out and be an "adult" once again.
Most of all He gently spoke to me through my frustration and reminded me that He has never once forgotten me or left me...He has been there through every storm wave and sunshine ray.
After being reminded of all of those things and drying my tears, which were now tears of laughter, love and good memories, I made a decision.
I do not care how I have to do it, but I am determined to live my life differently. I am determined to live my life in a positive way...an encouraging way...a filled with hope way...a joyful way.
I am determined to live my life in such a way that I will change the world...no matter how big or small my world may be at the time.
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